Ten Nerdy (or geeky) Christmas Jumpers

At first I was really struggling to get into the Christmas spirit. However, watching Elf really does get you excited for the Christmas season- trust me! Either way, it’s past the 1st of December so I can officially talk Christmas with all of you, plus there is snow outside my house and snow makes everything feel just that little bit more like Christmas.

I also bloody love a bit of snow (and Martin gets ridiculously excited by it too) despite like all British people we are completely unprepared (I NEED snow boots). Though I have to admit where I live people seem annoyingly prepared, I’m convinced its because people have a lot of money in this area (hence why I am so poor all the time in comparison) and so are so well prepared because they are used to going on skiing holidays (I however am not).

The only things I have that I could wear are my old white Dr Martens, which make pretty good snow boots. However, I feel weird wearing them because they’re leather (but yet I still can’t throw away because memories- it’s a whole thing- see my previous posts). However, I don’t really think they are work appropriate- so the journey in tomorrow is going to be interesting to say the least.

Snow
The snow outside my window.

 

 

 

 

 

Since everyone I know is definitely feeling the chill, I thought I’d do a list of my favourite nerdy/ geeky (chose the descriptor of your choice) Christmas jumpers that I have found. Also, before I start, I want to issue a small disclaimer. This is just a list of jumpers I want to buy. I haven’t bought from all these retailers so can’t guarantee their service, etc. Buy at your own risk, and make sure to thoroughly check out each website in advance.

I also want to apologise for the mix of Tumblr and Pinterest posts included below (it will become clear soon). Basically, I wanted the posts all to be Tumblr posts so my Tumblr was full of nice Christmas jumpers but what happened instead is that I now have a few posts that don’t make sense because the other websites didn’t load the image of the jumper for the Tumblr post. I also now have an incomplete Pinterest album so as per usual my life is a total fail!

1. Star Wars Princess Leia and Han Solo under the Mistletoe jumper 

Modelled here by the awesome Sarah Louise Brand– her Instagram is definitely high on my inspiration list. It’s red (which I love in a Christmas jumper) and it features one of my favourite romances of all time, and one of my favourite Sci-Fi heroines Princess Leia. It’s for all those reasons that this jumper is the number 1 Christmas jumper I need in my life.

Price: £24.99.

Retailer: IWOOT.

2. Labyrinth Fairisle Knitted Jumper 

This is quite frankly an amazing jumper. One, because I love a good 80s throwback, especially when it comes to jumper. Two, because I spot a new amazing detail everytime I look at it. And three, because who doesn’t want a Labyrinth Christmas jumper.

Price: £35.99

Retailer: Truffle Shuffle.

3. Jurassic World Fair Isle Christmas Jumper 

I will ignore that this is a Jurassic World and not a Jurassic Park jumper because it is so awesome (and no, I haven’t actually seen Jurassic World because I am in denial it exists- along with the new Jumanji film). This though is truly a great looking jumper, and one for anyone who would prefer a black Christmas jumper.

Price: £29.99.

Retailer: Truffle Shuffle.

There’s is also a Men’s fit version of this jumper available for anyone who prefers their jumpers to fit that way! 

4. Miffy Let It Snow Christmas Jumper 

So I know some people might argue that Miffy is more cute than nerdy, but for the sake of an argument let’s just agree that by nerdy I mean anything that refers to a piece of pop culture. Also, this jumper is just so adorable that I had to include it, especially considering what I see when I look out my window (snow if you hadn’t gathered that already)! This jumper is also one of the more ‘neutral’ options on this list so if you want a bit of Christmas cute, and are unlike me and don’t realise that half of what you wear would be considered ‘out there’ then this is probably the jumper for you.

Price: £29.99.

Retailer: Truffle Shuffle.

5. Spider-Man Knitted Christmas Jumper 

Well, I did say I loved a good old red Christmas jumper and this one definitely hits that box. If you’re like me and the Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse trailer has got you pumped then wear this and show off your Spidey fan pride. Especially, as it’s on sale!

 

Price: £24.99

Retailer: Geek Core

6. Captain America Knitted Christmas Jumper 

So this one is not only red. But red, white and blue- funny that, for a Captain America themed jumper. If you’re like me and Captain America is one of your favourite Avengers then this jumper is for you. Plus, you could always use it for a Captain America at Christmas time cosplay (we all know he wouldn’t be able to resist to have a themed jumper).

Price: £24.99

Retailer: Geek Core

7. Star Wars Yoda Christmas Jumper 

I’m not going to lie I mainly love this jumper because of the pun- ‘The Season To Be Jolly It Is’. However, it is also a really nice looking Star Wars jumper for those who aren’t into the more romantic offering I suggested earlier. Also, Yoda doesn’t look weird on the design, which is always a plus because I’ve seen some sketchy looking Yoda’s on Star Wars merchandise in my time. This would be amazing to wear to go see Star Wars: The Last Jedi next week as well (I’m so excited!!!).

Price: £32.99

Retailer: Geek Core

8. Stranger Things Holiday Light-Up Sweater (aka a Jumper)

So I refused to put ‘ugly’ into the title for this item like it says on the product description because I respectively disagree. For those of you who don’t know, I love, LOVE Stranger Things and I’d be totally willing to pay the custom charges I’d incur to buy this amazing jumper. The only thing that would make this better for me is if this was a cardigan and not a jumper but then it wouldn’t be in this post if it was, would it!!!

Hot cocoa and Christmas trees are all I need // @ those who were asking the other day – my sweater is from Target 🌲♥️

A post shared by – with love, Belle Maureen ☕️ (@lunestelle) on

I wish that I also would look half as good as lunestelle does wearing it (which is highly unlikely).

Price: £19.70 (not including shipping/ customs, etc.)

Retailer: Target

9. Wonder Woman: Winter Wonderland Knitted Christmas Jumper

Just like how Wonder Woman saved the Justice League film for me (along with The Flash, and despite the fact that they tried their hardest to ruin her character); let this Wonder Woman jumper save your Christmas style (please forgive that whole sentence). The model in the images on the website totally rocks this, and has convinced me I can look as good in it as well, which hasn’t helped my need for this jumper. Either way, it’s a Wonder Woman jumper so I’d want it whether it was Christmas themed or not (though obviously depending on the style because I’m fussy).

Price: £36.99

Retailer: Merchoid

10. Playstation Official Pink Christmas Jumper 

I need to start this one with a confession. I’m not actually a Playstation user (except for the occasional times Martin lets me have the controller and I just wander around aimlessly and bump into walls). However, I know a lot of people are so I wanted to include one for the game lovers out there. I unfortunately didn’t see any good Anime jumpers, as I wanted to include something from that category too. I also don’t know if there is a fierce Xbox vs. Playstation rivalry and if this will cause internet ‘beef’ but I’ll be honest I saw no Xbox jumpers and I really like this jumper. I did consider including some Nintendo jumpers but none particularly caught my eye (please comment if you’ve seen some good ones).

Either way, I really should get into playing Martin’s playstation more because I really like this jumper (ha, ha), though I really don’t need another obsession to add to my list!

Link is to Geek Core (where it sold out, as I was struggling to pin the item from Amazon). 

Price: £34.99.

Retailer: Amazon

So, there it is- a collection of my favourite Christmas jumpers out there for anyone who like me loves a bit of pop culture with their Christmas jumper. This post seriously did not help my desire though to buy the first jumper on the list, so please someone buy one of these and send me pictures so I can live vicariously through you (ha, ha).

While I may have missed Blogmas (is that a thing? I know Youtubers do Vlogmas) I do want to do some more Christmas themed posts to match my Christmas blog theme change (let me know your thoughts!) so please post suggestions because unsurprisingly I’m in a bit of a creative rut again. I’m thinking maybe some Harry Potter themed posts because Christmas will always be linked to Hogwarts for me.

April

Facebook: @aprilisthecruellestmonthblog

Instagram: @aprilisthecruellestmonth (main account)

@aprilisthecruellestmonthblog (miscellaneous account- which I’ve not uploaded to in ages because I’m a horrible human being)

Twitter: @aprilcruelmonth

Tumblr: @aprilisthecruellestmonthblog

 

 

Advertisements

Anti Bullying Week: My experiences and what I’ve learnt

It’s anti bullying this week so I thought it’d be an apt time to jump on the bandwagon as it were and discuss my experiences with bullying. I’ve been bullied on several different occasions and at times although I didn’t fully realise at the time I have engaged in bullying behaviour. I think a lot of the times this is something we are scared to admit about ourselves so instead will only talk about the real, horrible cases of bullying, rather than the day to day routine behaviour we saw (or even participated in) that we didn’t realise could have lasting effects as well.

Dodie’s bravery in talking about bullying in her latest book (my review for which can be found here), and how she had engaged in it too because she was afraid, and it was easier, helped to inspire me to speak up about this. The reason she gave of being afraid the conversation would turn to herself instead is really my reason as well. From what I can remember from my hazy memories, my bullying behaviour was joining in with nicknames and not thinking about the consequences. Behaviours I thought was teasing but added to the persona of a person, and didn’t let them define themselves on their own terms. If the people I did this to (I don’t think the list is long but it’s probably longer than I’d like to think) are reading this I’m sorry I went along with the crowd. Sure, I might have not been the loud voice egging people on, but that doesn’t mean I am not guilty. At the time I didn’t even realise but looking back now I know this behaviour matters.

I know how bullying makes you feel. Even the little comments can feel like a heart attack to your nerves. Usually when I’ve been bullied they picked up the easy part to latch on to, which is that I was chubbier than the other children in the age group. Or when I was a teenager and not the weight I was made to feel but because I never had the part where I could eat and nothing be there (not that there is anything wrong with that). I was made to feel like my body could never fit in. It was easy for them to latch on to my body because society told them everywhere it was not desirable. It was easy to latch on to because I knew this, and was insecure about it. I also wouldn’t fight back.

Now I’d like to think I wouldn’t let it not touch me but I’m not impenetrable. It still would. Then, they probably didn’t realise that their tiny comment was all I thought about every minute of the day. What it would be like when I was smaller. When was food, what I should eat (or not eat) to achieve this.

This is still not something I think will ever escape me, but it has dropped down my priority levels now so that my day is more than that. I’ve never made negative comments about people’s weight or appearance or tried to belittle them in that way, but the little bits of behaviour I was complicit in could have effected someone in the same way.

My message from this then is that you may think because you’re not a bully (or the stereotypical definition of one) that you’re behaviour is in fact not bullying type behaviour. Before, you dismiss something as teasing let yourself really think about whether they are in on the joke or not.

I forgave my bullies/ antagonists a long time ago. They just weren’t worth the effort. I think in the end they realised they had been as wrong about me as I’d been about them. Everyone just never bothered to get to know anyone, and just stuck to their labels.

Maybe it’s about time we throw those labels and preconceptions away. It’s hard and you have to be strong to resist the crowd (and when you’re going through your own insecurities that is damn near impossible). I used to get so wound up about the people who didn’t like me for seemingly no particular reason and wondered what was fundamentally wrong with me to make that so. Now, I know sometimes people just don’t click (though they didn’t need to ignore me though or make it obvious though- just saying) and you’ll never please everyone.

I don’t know what I would have done growing up if social media defined my life and my experiences as much as it does this generation growing up now (perfect Instagram photographs at every corner would have definitely sent me into a talespin) so anyone growing up with that as my upmost respect. Especially as words online cut as deep as any that come out of people’s mouths.

This anti-bullying week join me in reflecting over your past behaviour, and seeing how you can be better moving forward. Be the second thought that comes into your head, not the judgemental first one that you didn’t even consciously decide.

Faith, trust and a little bit of pixie dust: doing things that scare me

Image: A screen capture from Peter Pan/ Walt Disney 

The other week I did something I’ve never done before. I swapped an item with someone on the internet. In fact, we swapped a hat for a hat. My Lazy Oaf x Marie baseball cap for her Lazy Oaf Red Faux Fur Heart beret both of which are not easily able to find, and generally sold out everywhere on ine.

Now, first of all I want to say that I am in no way saying go send people you don’t know your items and that you can trust anyone. This was a risk. Don’t mistake that. A calculated risk yes because they showed me pictures of their item and had very good positive feedback on Depop. But it was a risk nonetheless. For both us.

I’m happy to say that in this case we were both people who genuinely wanted the other person to have an item I loved, and I have received the beret (really fast actually!) and their Marie baseball cap has made it’s way to its new owner!

Lazy Oaf April Beret

An awkward picture of me wearing the beret.

The point of this story is not that you should trust strangers, but that this was a risk for me. Something, that would usually result in lots of panicking, and worrying about posting the item before they did. Worry that for some reason the item wouldn’t get to them, or vice versa. And while I did still worry a little bit. It was a lot less than usual, which I have to count as a small victory.

When people say do things that scare you, so often people think you automatically have to go to massive gestures, like skydiving, but I think gradually building up to bigger, and bigger things that make you nervous is probably the best route. Sure, I do a lot of things that scare me daily, as even something as little as sending an email to a colleague, no matter the content, is something I pause about in my head a little. I think though having to do this daily has drilled the fear of emailing out of me a lot, which I’m grateful for.

Yes, I put myself out there a lot in a few aspects of my life. But that doesn’t mean I don’t agonise other it or worry about it each time. I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you are like me and the things you think of before bed are usually your worries for the day, and if you’re someone that if something goes wrong you will agonise and obsess over it to the point that it feels like the end of the world, and you can never get out of this mess you’ve created, then I understand.

I don’t think this is something that will ever be fully out of my life. And getting rejected does suck (trust me I know). But every once in a while you’ll get a piece of good news. An article you wrote will get a like (that’s literally enough to make my day, ha, ha). Unfortunately, you have to fight through a lot of panic inducing moments to get those little points. So start small. Take a little risk. Distract yourself from it. See what happens. If it went well, great, try a slightly bigger one. If it goes bad, try to breathe. Try not to push everyone away. Easier said than done, I know I’m incredibly guilty of this. Sit down absorb yourself in something to calm down, and start over. Try again with something small.

I don’t know if I’ll ever get to the big risks in life. I genuinely cannot ever see myself skydiving for example, or riding one of those ridiculous, over the top rollercoasters (don’t even get me started how panicky rollercoasters make me) but maybe I’ll have the courage to tweet someone important an article I’ve written, and be unashamedly proud of my work.

Though I’m not going to lie I could use a little pixie dust every now and again.

🍂April🍂

Facebook: @aprilisthecruellestmonthblog

Instagram: @aprilisthecruellestmonth (main account)

@aprilisthecruellestmonthblog (miscellaneous account- which I’ve not uploaded to in ages because I’m a horrible human being)

Twitter: @aprilcruelmonth

Tumblr: @aprilisthecruellestmonthblog

About Time: Bodyform’s new advert depicts ‘real blood’ instead of blue liquid

Main Image: A still from Bodyform’s Blood Normal advertisement.

Celebration is in the air as Bodyform has become the first company to depict realistic ‘period blood’ instead of the blue liquid that is typically featured on sanitary product advertisements. The blue liquid it was always assumed was shown instead of red liquid in a bid to disassociate viewers from the actual content of the advertisement (i.e. the reality of what periods are like) and because of a fear that showing red liquid to demonstrate blood would ‘gross out’ viewers.

Since the word ‘period’ instead of other common euphemisms such as, ‘that time of the month’, was not actually said on an sanitary product advertisement until an 1985 ‘Tampax’ advertisement featuring Courtney Cox; it’s not a shock that even in advertisements promoting sanitary products periods were still something taboo.

However, there has been a welcome shift in attitudes in recent years thanks to the tireless efforts of charities advocating for menstrual dignity, like the charity Binti, which aims to dispel the stigma’s surrounding menstruation across the world.

This has led to many period companies promoting advertisements focusing on blood more and more within the advertisements, such as Bodyform themselves before this new advertisement came out. In their video ‘Blood’, they show women bleeding from their knees, their face and their feet, but still didn’t depict this as being directly related to their period.

This new Bodyform campaign entitled #blood normal changes that and right from the opening shot we are shown a hand pouring a vial of red liquid onto a sanitary pad. Why then did Bodyform finally take the plunge from implying a focus on depicting the reality of periods to actually visibly breaking a massive advertising taboo?

Traci Baxter, Bodyform’s marketing manager, said: ‘We were so shocked by the results of our research that we publicly vowed to address the continued silence around periods.’

‘We know that the ‘period taboo’ is damaging. It means people are more likely to struggle with the effects of period poverty, whilst others struggle with their mental health and wellbeing.’

‘As a leader in feminine hygiene, we want to change this by challenging the taboo and ultimately removing the stigma, making it even easier for anyone to talk about periods, now and in the future.’

The advertisement in fact makes it it’s mission to tackle a number of stigmas surrounding menstruation to showing a man buying a sanitary product in a shop, to seeing a girl in a red swimsuit floating in a pool on an inflatable sanitary towel, to seeing someone bleeding in the shower implying that they’re on their period (it’s sad in itself that I’m still grateful that scene did not end in a full on Carrie showdown). The advertisement ends with the words: ‘Periods are normal. Showing them should be too’.

Something, which has been known to groups promoting period positivity for years. In fact, the campaign to have blue liquid dismissed from period advertising because of the way it perpetuates shame about menstruation has been a driving force for the charity Binti since their inception.

Something, which can be seen in their video ‘Blue Liquid Vs Blood #SmashShame’ in which they show young period expert Aaron showcasing red liquid on a sanitary towel, and proclaiming that we all know what the red liquid is and that we shouldn’t be embarrassed of it.

Founder and CEO of Binti International, Manjit K. Gill had this to say about the new Bodyform advertisement:

‘I am so excited that after campaigning for the past 2 years to eliminate blue water from advertising the absorbency of sanitary products that Bodyform has chosen to take the lead and stop.

When we met with their agency they commended us on our campaign and agreed it was time to make the change. We believe that effects of the sub conscious messaging that adverts have on young children really impact their belief patterns. The creative techniques perpetuate the secrecy and shame of not talking about menstruation and hiding it. It is a very normal bodily function and for years it has been kept a secret in fear of the viewers knowing that women bleed.

I have been in active discussions with all the leading brands in the market and am positive that we will move forward as an industry. I especially look forward to the day when all brands who are doing tremendous work educating those at puberty age also make a same change in their materials.’

Dodie ‘Secrets for the Mad’ Book Review (and Pop up shop)

I’ve got a secret for the mad
In a little bit of time it won’t hurt so bad
And I get that I don’t get it
But you will burn right now but then you won’t regret it

You’re not gonna believe a word I say
What’s the point in just drowning another day
And I get that I don’t get it
But the world will show you that you won’t regret it

Little things, all the stereotypes
They’re gonna help you get through this one night
And there will be a day
When you can say you’re okay and mean it

I promise you it’ll all make sense again
I promise you it’ll all make sense again

There’s nothing to do right now but try
There are a hundred people who will listen to you cry
And I get that they don’t get it
But they love you so much that you won’t regret it

You’re at the bottom, this is it
Just get through, you will be fixed
And you think, that I don’t get it
But I burned my way through and I don’t regret it

Little things, all the stereotypes
They’re gonna help you get through this one night
And there will be a day
When you can say you’re okay and mean it

I promise you it’ll all make sense again

– Dodie, Secrets for the Mad

November 2nd was a big book day for anyone who like me has a soft spot for British Youtubers, as not only was Dodie’s Secrets for the Mad: Confessions, Obsessions and Life Lessons released, but so was Noodlerella’s debut novel, Undercover Princess (The Rosewood Chronicles). This post however is focused on Secrets for the Mad, as I read that first.

The book is part memoir, part advice, all emotions. It charts the things Dodie has learnt while struggling with mental illness, and reflects on those parts of her life, and how she got through it. I picked up my copy from the Dodie Pop up show at the Youtube Creator Store in London (as far as I’m aware the pop up is running for about another 2 weeks), along with the ‘I Promise You It Will All Make Sense Again’ jumper. I had actually already preordered the book but when I saw that the copies at the pop up were signed (and came with a free poster, pin badge and zine I knew that was the way to go (so my ordered copy is going to have to be sent back because as much as I’d like to I don’t think I need two copies).

Dodie Pop Up

Dodie Pop Up 2

The staff at the shop were super nice, and asked if I had been to the live shows last week. Sadly, I had to reply I had not, because despite really wanting to go I had not been paid yet then and my wallet wouldn’t allow it. They also confirmed that the shop doesn’t have a phone (I had wanted to ring ahead before I made the trip just to make sure things were still in stock) and that the best way to get in contact with them was over Twitter (the Youtube Creator Store link above). I also mentioned how I was hoping they would have the You EP vinyl because I had missed out on the website and really wanted it to add to Martin and I’s growing collection (it’s ok because Martin’s an audiophile- it means we get away with being this hip) so hopefully fingers crossed they can make that happen (if you want to see it happen I recommend you tweet them like crazy!). Along with the Bobble Hat that Dodie sold on her tour, because let’s face the facts, it’s definitely wooly hat weather now.

They did however as I mentioned have the ‘I Promise It Will All Make Sense Again’ sweatshirt at the event, which I’ve basically living in because it’s super warm and toasty (really good quality too). They also had a couple of pieces that I remember from Dodie’s merchandise website including the ‘Is it Tho’ hat and the Dodie portrait white ringer top.

Dodie 3

There was also merchandise from other Youtubers there like Dan and Phil (I was very tempted to buy their plushies, and their merchandise looks so good in real life) and Zoella. Overall, it was a nice little shopping experience and the shop is only a minute away from St Pancreas/ Kings Cross.

The book itself I started to read the very night I got it, but I read the bulk of it on the train to meet my mother for the day, and it was the perfect train read. There is something about trains that make you reflect, and this is a book all about reflecting.

One of the main things I really loved about the book was the way Dodie used her lyrics and photographs, as ways to demonstrate and reflect on certain parts of her life. It made me think back to what I can remember well and not so well, and made me realise that some of my most vivid memories are when I went on a trip around Europe at the end of my first year of University. For a lot of people the trip would have been pretty tame, and boring, but it was one of the best times I’ve had in my life and made me remember how much I love travelling.

Dodie Images

Images in Secret for the Mad. 

It also made me think back to the memories I have from when I was younger. The ones I remember the best are as follows. I remember the toy car I used to love when I was little. It was a green Mercedes peddle car (the only time in my life that I will actually remember a car- I am notoriously bad at remembering what car I am in- never leave me alone in a car park). I remember that I used to love just peddling round and round in it, in my garden. Even as I started to get too big for it (in fact I can remember that part sometimes even more, which is weird for me as I have an habit of suppressing bad memories). The story I usually tell about the car is that I used to ‘drive’ it down my street, and knock on the doors of people down the street, asking for petrol. I was a bit too outgoing and didn’t really understand ‘stranger danger’ as a child (to chart my life you kind of say I went through extroverted, to introverted to somewhere in between).

My other prominent memories revolve around clothes/ costumes. I remember my gold shiny dress that I loved, and would wear to every special event. I remember my pink fluffy coat with matching handbag. My orange sun hat with a sunflower smack bang square in the middle. My La La from Teletubbies costume that I refused to take off, and was a symbol of my childhood obsession with transitioning into an actual teletubby, complete with teletubby toast (courtesy of a cutter) and teletubby custard (which was a disturbing shade of pink and essentially yoghurt for anyone not in the know). There was also my Blossom from Powerpuff Girls costume (though I wanted to be Bubbles). Considering the obsessive way I like to plan what I want to wear for a certain event (it never goes the way I planned); its unsurprising that I remember everything by outfits.

In Secrets for the Mad Dodie envies her childhood brain for being able to remember when she cannot. For me, it was just reassuring to hear that I am not the only one who forgets. I’m the sort of person who can remember the exact details of homework set but if you ask me to recall the last year of my life; you’d only hear fragments. After my dissertation I even managed to forget what it was about (it doesn’t help that I hardwired my brain from a young age to try my best to forget anything unpleasant).

Dodie Book

(Poster pictured below) 

Dodie, however, unlike me, suffers from Depersonalistation disorder (DPD, or dissociation, or derealisation (DR), she describes it like essentially feeling like you are drunk all the time, and are not quite attached to reality. She discusses in the book how she was able to eventually get treatment, but how it took years of fighting for people to take her seriously.

People with mental health issues should not have to fight for a doctor to take them seriously. The majority of people have a natural aversion to the doctor, even more so when you have something wrong that you can’t quite put your finger on, like your mental health. You should be listened to, never turned away (like Dodie is at one point in the book).

It’s sad to say that this is the truth. I know friends who have had bad experiences with therapy. Who just wanted to have someone to listen to them but found there was nowhere capable of being 100% there. I have always tried my best to listen, but I admit I struggle with knowing quite what to say, or how to be there. ‘I understand’ and ‘I’ll always listen’ never quite feels like enough.

Mental health can be hard to understand, especially if you’ve never struggled with it. That’s why in recent years so many people have tried to break the stigma surrounding it by talking about. In the end while it’s helped, people then talk about how they feel every Youtuber or blogger has now come out with a mental health issue. All I can say to that is so what is they have? And maybe there is something about the desire to share a bit of yourself online and to be heard that means that means there is something in your brain you just need to get out.

Secrets for the Mad Poster

Secrets for the Mad Poster 

I personally have talked about suffering with my mental health. Vaguely, and not in great detail. Maybe one day I’ll get to the point where I can talk about it more. To be honest, I have had no official diagnosis, no definite clue. That is my own fault, as much as I talk and encourage my friends to get the help they need or go to therapy; I have yet to do myself.

Despite, oversharing on this blog, I don’t like talking about me. I don’t like being personal and honest. To be honest I’m scared (bizarrely enough) it’s all in my head, and I’m just too emotional or hyper sad.

Reading about other people’s experiences helps however. Especially when you know they understand, like Dodie because they have somehow managed to find that magical land where they can discuss how to talk if you feel like you’re suffering with mental health problems, without feeling like it is patronising.

Within Secrets for the Mad Dodie also discusses the other things she worries and obsesses over (I don’t know about you but I’ve always felt like I obsess over too many things, and it was refreshing to see someone not just cover one aspect of their lives but lay everything bare) from her bad skin, to issues surrounding body image (I was relieved to see this addressed, as so often I see famous people be they film stars, or Youtubers lose weight and then not talk about, as if they were always that way); sexuality (I love that Dodie is dispelling the myths surrounding bisexuality), and how sex education actually fails to talk to you about the stuff surrounding sex leading to damaging patterns and abusive relationships (and how that abusive is not always physical- and we shouldn’t keep letting bad things happen to the people we love because they’ve not been hit yet).

Dodie Book Signature

What the signed copy looks like. 

Another thing that I love that is stressed is the ‘Little but Important Things’, something I’ve tried to grasp onto recently. I may have had a bad week, or a horrible moment in my day (that I’ll obsess over and play over again and again in my head) but instead I try to focus on a moment I’ll have laughing with Martin, or a piece of good news, or a special moment with a friend.

Forever Idiots

This book reminded me and inspired me to keep on writing, whether it be here or in the novel that I promised myself I would write ever since I was little and first picked up a pen. Hopefully, I will have the courage to be just as confessional though I can’t help but make mine just a little bit more fantastical.

If I had to sum up Secrets for the Mad I would say that Dodie laid herself bare as much as she could without giving away her soul and I really respect that.

I feel like a six out of ten
I gotta get up early tomorrow again

What goes on behind the words?
Is there pity for the plain girl?

Can you see the panic inside?
I’m making you uneasy, aren’t I?

-Dodie 6/10

Also, on a slightly needy note let me know if you enjoyed this book review. I feel like awkwardly enough I’m actually terrible at reviewing things because I go on too many tangents so if you like/ hate my style let me know.

🍂April🍂

Facebook: @aprilisthecruellestmonthblog

Instagram: @aprilisthecruellestmonth (main account)

@aprilisthecruellestmonthblog (miscellaneous account- which I’ve not uploaded to in ages because I’m a horrible human being)

Twitter: @aprilcruelmonth

Tumblr: @aprilisthecruellestmonthblog

How Kiki’s Delivery Service helped my mental health

Main Image: Kiki’s Delivery Service/ Studio Ghibli 

I am currently trying to pretend that Halloween is not over. Although, I am very much excited for the Christmas drinks at Costa; I can never fully get into the Christmas spirit until the December ‘I need to buy presents now’ panic hits in. Therefore, I thought it would be better to look back and reflect on my Halloween costume, and why I chose that particular costume, rather than get myself into a funk.

If you know me at least moderately well, you’ll know I like to dress up. While I have not done more than a smattering of cosplays (because I build the expectations I have for a costume up too high in my head); I love cosplay. I love dressing up and becoming a character. Recently, anyone who follows me on Twitter will know I have been making my way through the Studio Ghibli canon, and one film really stood out to me the most, and if you haven’t guessed it already that film was Kiki’s Delivery Service.

For those of you who don’t know Kiki’s Delivery Service is about a young witch who has come of age, and decides to leave home for a year (a witch tradition) to decide what magic/ what kind of witch she wants to be.

The film then is about growing up, and transforming from one stage of your life to another. What the film also talks about (which I’m not the only one to notice) is depression. During the film (spoiler alert) Kiki loses her magical powers and doesn’t understand why. No matter what she does things are just not working like they used to.

Kiki

Image: Kiki’s Delivery Service/ Studio Ghibli 

She talks to her artist friend Ursula (who is totally cool and lives in a cottage in the woods that I would totally frequent minus the crows) who tells her that she went through the same thing with her art. One of the pieces of advice she gives is:

“Stop trying. Take long walks. Look at scenery. Doze off at noon. Don’t even think about flying. And then, pretty soon, you’ll be flying again.”

Which for me basically translates to take some time and look after you. Beating yourself up because you’ve lost inspiration or are going for a depressive episode is not going to help. All you can do is try to look after you.

Kiki and Ursula

Image: Kiki’s Delivery Service/ Studio Ghibli 

The film also discusses friendship for those who struggle at. In the film Kiki laments:

“I think something’s wrong with me. I make friends, then suddenly I can’t bear to be with any of them. Seems like that other me, the cheerful and honest one, went away somewhere.”

Kiki Mardy

Image: Kiki’s Delivery Service/ Studio Ghibli 

I love, love my friends but very often I get myself into a rut and I just don’t want to be anywhere near anyone. I’ve missed several events because of that (don’t even get me started on building up expectations for events) and so can truly relate.

So, you can see why Kiki definitely has a special place in my heart. I did however hesitate with the costume, because it was never made clear what ethnicity Kiki is. I think cosplaying a character if you are not the race of the character (i.e. if you are not a minority) should always be treated carefully and with respect. I personally don’t feel comfortable cosplaying a character of another ethnicity to me, usually because that character is a minority in film/ tv/ literature or whatever the medium is- it feels like I am taking the character away from someone.

In the end I decided to cosplay as Kiki because Kiki’s ethnicity was never absolutely defined. In Spirited Away for example the film is set in Japan, and the lead’s character’s name (Chihiro Ogino) and appearance is Japanese.

However, I think personally as long as you don’t try to match your skin tone to that character (i.e. blackface) I don’t have an issue. In an ideal world there would not be an issue at all but to ignore the aspect ethnicity plays in our society today would be wrong. I am not though a person of colour so really you shouldn’t be paying attention to what I say in this debate, but actually asking people affected.

Kiki, as a character though means a lot to me. Not only has she become someone I can relate to, but the film and its beauty inspired a new burst of creativity in me that I have not felt for so long. For that reason Kiki’s Delivery Service is always going to have a special place in my heart.

Kiki's Delivery Service

🍂April🍂

Facebook: @aprilisthecruellestmonthblog

Instagram: @aprilisthecruellestmonth (main account)

@aprilisthecruellestmonthblog (miscellaneous account)

Twitter: @aprilcruelmonth

Tumblr: @aprilisthecruellestmonthblog

The Comics I’m loving at the moment

So it’s been long time, no blog. I’m going to be honest getting used to all the changes in my life has really been making blogging feel difficult at the moment. Mainly, because I just can’t decide what I want to write about. Recently, instead of writing to de-stress I’ve being reading comics while snuggling up in my bed (and for the last day or two alternating that with watching Stranger Things Season 2). While a Season 2 Stranger Things review is definitely on the way because I’m obsessed (along with the Topshop colloboration- I need the Barb top in my life); I thought I’d do a little post about the comics I’ve being loving at the moment.

Especially as reconnecting with comics have meant that I’ve being going down memory lane a lot and reflecting back to when I was a teenager, and read comics the most. I read a few different things as a teenager, but I’ll be honest I never probably knew where to start. Everyone I knew who liked comics was REALLY into comics, and I always felt nervous starting from scratch. It didn’t help that back then seeing a girl in a comic book shop was still a commodity, especially where I lived (I can’t speak for other places).

This experience actually has kind of inspired me to start writing, and not a blog post but maybe, hopefully a novel (don’t hold me to this). It will be loosely based on things I’ve experienced but far away from me enough that it won’t feel too personal to share (at least that’s what I’m going for).

Enough about that though let’s get into the comics I’ve been loving at the moment. There’s not a lot (only 2) because I’m trying not to go to ‘ham’- honestly due to money. And I want to slowly figure out what I like and don’t like. Although I will always love Superheros; I wanted to explore something different, and at the minute I really just wanted to read stories with female protagonists (whether they’re good or bad)- maybe all the childhood nostalgia where I only had Buffy to cling to is getting to me a bit too much!

Snotgirl 

Image Comics

Story: Bryan Lee O’Malley

Artwork: Leslie Hung 

Snotgirl Comic

This was actually the first of the two series’ I mention that I picked up. I picked it up first of all because I loved the title. And secondly because I love the artwork so much.

For those not familiar with this series, Snotgirl looks at the Youtube/ fashion/ beauty blogger world, which I’ve been really into since I finally discovered it and basically just breaks it apart. But also doesn’t dismiss it completely. It’s more about what it’s like behind the photographs, behind the persona. And what’s it like when you don’t know the difference anymore.

Or as better explained by the official synopsis:

“Lottie Person is a glamorous fashion blogger living her best life—at least that’s what she wants you to think. The truth is, her friends are terrible people, her boyfriend traded her up for someone younger, her allergies are out of control, and she may or may not have killed somebody!”

Since I’ve been really struggling to be active online at the moment because I’d rather connect in the real world (and because I just really want to be in the countryside for some reason at the moment) this has been a thought provoking but still fun read for me.

The first volume for Snotgirl is already out and is £8.99 at both Waterstones and Amazon (it’s cheaper at Forbidden Planet however).

I’d also recommend you check out Seconds by the same author, which is closer to Scott Pilgrim (and has an amazing reference thrown in there) than Snotgirl, but the main character is a lot more relatable to me, just because I’m not glamorous (ha, ha) and they have red hair. It will though hit you right in the heart if you’re going through growing up stress at the minute however.

Paper Girls 

Image Comics 

Story: Brian K. Vaughan
Art: Cliff Chiang

Paper Girls 1

PaperGirls 2

So think about Stranger Things, then imagine the squad is all girls, and add in more of a futuristic, space travel inspired adventure and you have Paper Girls. Although this series reminds me once again that my childhood was totally not inspiring in comparison to most people’s; I truly recommend it. The sunset toned, bright but muted, 80s inspired retro artwork is to die for and I wish I could just see my whole life like it. It also has a lot of moments about growing up and expectations, which is hitting a bit too close to home for me at the moment.

The synopsis as usual explains it better than me:

“In the early hours after Halloween of 1988, four 12-year-old newspaper delivery girls uncover the most important story of all time. Suburban drama and otherworldly mysteries collide in this smash-hit series about nostalgia, first jobs, and the last days of childhood.”

The good things about this series as well is that there are three volumes to get through that have already published before you catch up with the current run, so you don’t have to worry about catching up too soon, and anxiously waiting for each issue (or if you’re like me that won’t matter because you read too fast anyway- the only thing stopping me if that I can’t afford to buy volume 3 at the moment).

The first volume is £8.99 at Waterstones (and the independent comic book shop Chaos City Comics that I bought it from- the staff are super friendly and this way I keep independents alive and get good recommendations). The second and third volume are £11.99.

You can buy the volumes cheaper on Amazon as well. I also just discovered that you can buy Book 1 (Issues 1-10) in a special cover edition, which I now want because I’m in love with the artwork (also available for preorder on Amazon). For this who don’t know volumes are usually one run of the comics, which is usually 5-6 issues (for Paper Girls its 5 issues), so volume 1 and 2, which I already own are issues 1-5, and 6-10 respectively, and volume 3, which I need would be issues 11-15.

At the moment issues 16, 17 and 18 have also been released in comic form. Book 1, which I just mentioned contains issues I already have but still want because I get too obsessive about things.

It’s also worth mentioning that this is the perfect read for Halloween if you’re like me and want to spend Halloween in a Stranger Things (except you know I’ve already binged watched my way through Season 2) and Paper Girls Halloween 80s bubble.

🍂April🍂

Facebook: @aprilisthecruellestmonthblog

Instagram: @aprilisthecruellestmonth (main account)

@aprilisthecruellestmonthblog (miscellaneous account)

Twitter: @aprilcruelmonth

Tumblr: @aprilisthecruellestmonthblog

I’ve officially finished my Masters degree

Image: Pexels (A representation of a students life if they are way more hip than I was/ somehow have enough time to use a type writer, and like coffee). 

A short(ish) and slightly personal post ahead. This is just a warning so you know for what you’re getting yourself in for, so don’t say I didn’t warn you!!! Anyway, to the point. The other day, I got my dissertation results and I’m proud to say that my calculations come to the conclusion that I got a distinction overall for my Masters (I really hope this doesn’t come to haunt me lol and it turns out I worked it out wrong).

People who know me personally will know how much this meant to me, not least because I’m a perfectionist but also because I didn’t get the grade I wanted in my undergraduate degree. While blame can of course be blamed on me (and the demon that is procrastination- mostly fear of failing procrastination); a lot of the reason for my result was because of events in my third year of university that essentially meant I was feeling the lowest with my mental health I have ever felt in my life. Although, it has been hard; I’ve finally started to feel like there is a way out of that black hole (though I am by no means magically ‘better’) thanks to the support of my friends and Martin. And due to a whole lot of fighting on my own part. However, at that point in my life I’m not surprised now I didn’t get the result I wanted- I can barely even recognised myself in the person I was that year. I basically should have asked for help and said I was not coping. But I was too stubborn/ afraid to. So what I am saying is, if you’re struggling, ask for the help, confide in someone, I know it’s scary and feels more challenging than whatever you are going through, but it will help so much more in the long run. I honestly wish I had and should have done.

And for those like me who didn’t quite get what they wanted the first time round, I just wanted to let you know you can do it. And basically you’re going to go through a lot of things that suck, and make you feel like there is no way out. But there is, you can do it, and if you need someone to talk to message me. Alternatively, please check out the helplines just below.

Mind (mental health charity)

0300 123 3393

info@mind.org.uk
Text: 86463

https://www.mind.org.uk

The Samaritans (free support for anyone who needs it) 

116 123 (UK) (24/7 every day)

jo@samaritans.org

https://www.samaritans.org

I also want to say a big congratulations to Callie and a thank you for all your support. Ciara- you did amazing, I’m so proud even though you’re older than me lol but I’m definitely the middle aged one of the group. Mitchell- I know you’re going to do amazing. Holly, well done on your Masters, and 4 years putting up with me-we did it (again)!!!

There’s so many more people I could mention and want to but it would make this post far longer than it already is. But everyone else on my Masters course (you know who you are if you’re reading this- well done you’re all amazing).

I also want to say a longer big thank you to the long suffering individual that is Martin, thank you for actually attempting to read my dissertation- it was much appreciated. A big thank you to my mum too for always believing in me.

To anyone else reading, it’s never too late to change your path, whether it be job wise, grade wise, mental health wise. And don’t worry I’m going to stop pretending I’m a life coach now (though let’s face it you’d all buy my motivational DVD because it’d be hilarious).

🍂April🍂

Facebook: @aprilisthecruellestmonthblog

Instagram: @aprilisthecruellestmonth (main account)

@aprilisthecruellestmonthblog (miscellaneous account)

Twitter: @aprilcruelmonth

Tumblr: @aprilisthecruellestmonthblog

My Cruelty Free Journey

Image: Pexels (so is free from attribution, but I’m putting the attribution here in case anyone wants to use the image!)

So I think it’s appropriate to start this post by saying that I’ve been a vegetarian for quite a long time now. Although, I can’t exactly remember the year I fully committed (there were a few failed attempts before then); I think it was about aged 16. So about 5-6 years of vegetarianism is probably a good estimate.

For a while I was afraid to admit this, but at the start of being a vegetarian I didn’t really at first catch on to the other animal products that surrounded me like leather, etc. I finally did however realise and started to genuinely phase leather items out, though I will admit this was not without me failing a few times because I put fashion above my beliefs. I do now though only own leather items that I bought quite a long time ago now (and are up for sale on Depop, unfortunately no one wants them). Although, I have put my items up for sale; I personally can’t just throw those items away, as that to me personally feels more like a waste; but at the same time I feel uncomfortable wearing the items.

So basically what I am trying to say is I understand the struggle, and would never call you out for what you wanted to wear. I also love vintage clothing, and can understand why people might be alright with wearing vintage leather (or even fur, though personally, although I know it is skin like leather, real fur has always felt more ‘icky’ to me). I however do not feel comfortable personally with that either, though if you’re vegetarian (or even vegan) and want to buy vintage leather items- go ahead- like I’ve mentioned I think it’s worse to just waste the suffering of the animal and throw the item away. I also think it’s ok if you like a vintage bag for example but the strap is leather (but not the main part of the bag) and tell the store to keep the leather strap to use on another bag, and then replace the strap with a faux leather one (you can find them quite cheap online). There is then always ways to make a item work. I also mentioned the bag idea, as this is something I am considering doing- if you have any thoughts on this ethically let me know, as I’d like to hear opinions.

This dilemma is also part of the reason I decided to make this post, as I am still not fully through my transition and fully cruelty free in my life. I think part of the reason is because when I started this journey I didn’t realise how many things are not cruelty free, which I will talk more about later within this post.

Clothing 

So there are a number of different materials to consider with clothing, and those are leather (and suede), silk (there is however a cruelty free silk option so make sure to always do your research), fur, and for some people wool.

The most prolific of these items that you are most likely going to encounter however is leather, which nowadays is not that hard to avoid with high street clothing retailers often opting for cheaper faux-leather alternatives for their items. Higher end items however are mostly leather and a lot harder to avoid though Stella McCartney and Moschino (I don’t think this is true for all their range however but I know that some of their range is- so make sure to check!) are known for their leather free ranges. As for the high street just make sure to look up the product online before you buy it, as it will say if the product is made out of leather in the product description. Topshop, for example, are about 50/50 with their shoes though I’ve noticed unfortunately that more and more are starting to be leather- you can usually tell however by the higher price bracket before you even look at the item. Leather gloves whatever the shop always seem to be real leather so to be honest I would just avoid them.

If you’re looking for a little stress in your shopping routine Iron Fist shoes are vegan and free from leather, and they are known for their alternative designs. For vegan bags (and shoes I just recently realised) check out Matt and Nat ,who are on the pricey side but are effortlessly stylish and chic (definitely one for those times when you are trying to be all chic and Parisian). I’ve also noticed that Unif stock loads of vegan leather products (I’m not sure if they stock anything leather, though if I was going out a limb I don’t think they do- definitely check though), and are a great alternative brand- they’re a little like Lazy Oaf in execution but much more about the cleaner lines and tighter fit (they also have a bit more of a straight up 90s vibe going on). A lot of the amazing shoes stocked on DollsKill (like all the amazing Current Mood ones) are usually vegan/ not leather (but make sure to check, as I know they have a few styles that are leather). Also, if you’re like me and obsessed with Dr Martens (I do still have a pair that I saved, and saved for but that I feel weird wearing now that are on my Depop) then they do a vegan range. However,  unfortunately their collaborations are usually not vegan so no, Adventure Time (please, please, Dr Martens on the very unlikely chance you are reading this bring out vegan versions of these designs) or Lazy Oaf collaboration for me!

I’ve also noticed that in regards to brands like Vans, Converse and Adidas, and all the similar brands that are popular right now (due to sporty casual making a comeback) that some of their shoes are vegan, but some are not- so be sure to look out for that!

Makeup 

So makeup and whether or not certain brands are cruelty free is being talked about a lot recently, which is amazing. It also gets a bit confusing, as often I see one source telling me a brand is cruelty free and another telling me it is not. Therefore, I thought I’d sum up all the information I’ve gathered about what someone means when they say a product is not entirely cruelty free. Also, I’ve put skincare on a separate post, as I personally don’t tend to buy my skin care stuff from the same brand that I get my makeup from.

Ok, so first of all a brand may be cruelty free but that doesn’t necessarily mean their products are entirely vegan- so they may for example still have dyes in their eyeshadows like carmine (or cochineal), which is essentially made from crunched up insects. At the moment, my makeup bag is cruelty free (minus a few old products that I don’t use but just have not got round to throwing out/ seeing if a family member/ friends wants it) but not vegan, however I am striving to have it both cruelty free and vegan in the near future.

The other confusing bit in regards to makeup being cruelty free involves China. Essentially to sell a product in China, the makeup then has to be tested on animals (though makeup produced in China does not have to go through this testing so theoretically companies could sell in China and be cruelty free by having a factory in China to distribute products there- as far as I’m aware) so therefore retailers who sell in China are not classified as cruelty free, though they themselves do not necessarily test on animals.

To make it a bit simpler here is a list of all the companies that test on animals. However, there is then another issue that arises in regards to cruelty free. This is when a parent company, basically the big organisation that owns lots of smaller makeup brands (L’Oreal is a good example, as they basically own everything) is not cruelty free but the company itself is. An example of this is the brand Too Faced who are generally considered a brand in their own right and describe themselves as cruelty free with a lot of their products being vegan. However, in 2016 they were acquired by Estee Lauder who are not cruelty free. There is also a lot of other controversy surrounding the brand regarding the Youtuber Nikkie Tutorials, which I won’t get into but if you’re interested you can read about. Especially, as a lot of this as far as I’m aware is speculation. So brands with a parent company that are not cruelty free obviously are a bit of a grey area, as it means that your money still ends up going to a place that condones testing on animals. I think parent companies are basically up to each individual to decide on, but if you want to buy products from them still I don’t think it’s something to destroy an individual over (though just to note I don’t think you should ever aim to destroy an individual) if they are someone who says they are cruelty free.

Also, if you’re like me and a fan of some of the Japanese/ Korean makeup trends (mostly because they often do cute collaborations with Disney or Pokémon) I’m afraid these brands tend not to be cruelty free. For some interesting information regarding this see this post on Soko Glam, which also discusses how it is possible to sell some makeup products in China, without having to have the ingredients tested on animals.

If you’re looking for a list of cruelty free brands check out this list by Cruelty-Free Kitty, as it is by far one of the most definitive and informative lists out there. Basically, check out their site if you want to know more about going cruelty free and what brands are and aren’t. Personally, if you want great brands that are cruelty free I’d recommend Kat Von D and Urban Decay.

Perfume 

One thing I never thought about being cruelty free is perfume. Something, which was particularly sad for me to realise, as my favourite perfume of all time is Coco Mademoiselle by Chanel, and is actually very comforting to me. However, a while ago I finished the bottle Martin bought me (he bought it ages ago), and have decided from now on to only use cruelty free scents, which trust me is easier said than done (as unlike makeup the options are a lot fewer).

There are though options out there. Honey Pop Kisses in fact did an amazing post on this, which I suggest you look at for suggestions or again turn to the always great Cruelty-Free Kitty. Also, Kat Von D Beauty recently came out with two perfumes Saint and Sinner that I’m going to assume are cruelty free, since Kat Von D has took a very public stance on this, but I have emailed them to check and will update this post once I’ve received a response.

Nail Varnish

I don’t often paint my nails but I really want to more, and when I looked at my cupboard of ancient nail varnishes I came to the conclusion that pretty much all of them are not likely to be cruelty free. However, after a quick search I was happy to see, that a few brands like ORLY that I expected not to be cruelty free, are.

If you want to see a list of cruelty free and vegan nail polishes click here, or if you want to see 5 vegan nail polish brands (that are more UK based, and include brands like Barry M, who are cruelty free, with some of their products being vegan) click here. Both lists are definitely something which I think are useful to have with you when visiting the nail salon so you can quickly and easily make sure your selection is cruelty free!

Other beauty essentials 

Other beauty things you have to look out for are bath bombs/ general bath stuff. I’ve mentioned Lush’s policy in my latest Lush post for all those interested but there are some great companies out there (usually independents are a great place to look) like Geeky Clean that are cruelty free and vegan. The Body Shop, a old school cruelty free brand and fighter against animal testing has come under fire as they were recently acquired by L’Oréal (who are not cruelty free). However, L’Oréal recently sold the brand to Natura Cosmetics who are reportedly cruelty free (they have not been certified by a board like Cruelty Free International but as a company they have stated they are cruelty free).

In regards, to shower gel I know that Original Source products are generally vegan  and they do smell great. However, I have not found anything definitive to say they are cruelty free so I’m probably going to stop using them, but will email them if anyone would like me to!

Skincare is also something to pay attention to, particularly sunscreen (click the link for some cruelty free brands) but also look up whether your moisturiser, spot cream etc. contains animal products/ is cruelty free. I’d recommend trying to avoid supermarkets and bigger chains and trying to do your skin care routine from somewhere you know to be cruelty free and clearly labels their products, as being either vegetarian or vegan, like Lush (though whether you consider Lush to be cruelty free is up to you- see this post mentioned earlier). Or of course just look up your products before you buy them, though this could end up with you having to do a bit of the emailing and probably a lot of frustration.

Deodorant is something else to look out for and one of those products that I did not even think about. I have a can that I need to finish but soon as that is gone I will be trying out some new products (let me know if a cruelty free deodorant review series is actually something you’d all want!). However, I haven’t found a definitive list of which brands are not cruelty free, so I recommend just looking up your deodorant bottle (if you want me to compile a list let me know). For now here’s a list of 5 cruelty free deodorants that reportedly work and a list helpful for those of us in the UK (since I have a Holland and Barret’s really close to where I live I definitely will be trying out Dr. Organic soon).

So there we have it! My complete list of all the things I’ve started to consider on my cruelty free journey. This post is not designed to lecture you, but as a helpful guide for those looking into being cruelty free in their ‘beauty’ routine or for those who are cruelty free. Also, if I have made any mistakes in this post please let me know, as obviously I don’t want to tell people whether things are cruelty free or not, and then that information be incorrect. If I’ve missed something important out please also let me know, as a lot of this is still very new to me!

If you’ve enjoyed this post let me know, as I’d love to do a ‘Home’ (so cleaning products, etc.) version of this post, as that for me is the next planned stage of my cruelty free journey once I’ve fully completed this stage.

🍂April🍂

Facebook: @aprilisthecruellestmonthblog

Instagram: @aprilisthecruellestmonth (main account)

@aprilisthecruellestmonthblog (miscellaneous account)

Twitter: @aprilcruelmonth

Tumblr: @aprilisthecruellestmonthblog

SaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSave

Post University Panic: A Hopefully Helpful Post

(I chose the above image, as it is kind of a good image to define what I looked like for most of university-I miss my long hair so much! I would have posted a picture of my Masters graduation ceremony, but it hasn’t happened yet! Image credit: Holly Campbell.)

I almost didn’t post anything today but I’m really trying to be consistent with posting so thought I’d post instead how I’ve been feeling recently. Plus, I just did some exercise and it helped clear my head a little bit so think I might be able to actually get something out that is not a rambling mess. So for those of you who do not know I’ve finished university for the second time, as I’ve just completed my Masters course (though I’m still waiting for my final grade). Alongside that my significant other has also finished their course, and my friends who were on the course I did.

Although, I can pretty much just about cope with the fact that we are all not students anymore; I have to admit that the thought still kind of scares me. The last four years of my life have been defined by me being a student. A lot of my most memorable moments in my life like taking up running, going travelling alone, and meeting a lot of my friends and significant other all happened at university. I’ve changed so much that to be honest it is hard to connect to the timid, shy person that I was in some ways before university (though she’s still there and definitely comes out when I’m anxious or stressed). And while parts of me have come bubbling back recently- I’ve started to revert a lot more back to the middle aged, no drinking, serious April and away from the fun loving, carefree persona I tried very hard to adopt- I think now I land somewhere in-between.

However, changing or not, the time after university is hard. Everyone wants to know what you are going to do now. What you want to do. Basically, they want to know if university was worth it career wise. I’m lucky that I actually have found a job after university that I will start at soon (but I’m not going to post what it is or anything like that just out of privacy), but it is within the industry that I went to university to study for. I did though on my way get an endless stream of rejections. I also still see my friends being rejected. Bright, qualified, friendly, amazing people that should be fighting down job interviews. Yet, we can all barely make ends meet. Seriously, don’t look at my bank account right now it will make you weep. And no it’s not fair. But that’s not what this post is about. This post is for anyone who is in that position right now. I just want you to know I get you. I know what’s it like to have no money, and to be scared that you will never find a job. I know this may not be what you want to hear from someone who is lucky enough to have found a job, but I am still going to have a good few months of struggling to make ends meet left. Also, I just want to point out here that I know that there there are always people who have it worse, and I am incredibly privileged to have it as good as I do but comparing people’s issues (unless in an appropriate scenario) never helps. We all have pain, and I would never dismiss someone’s experience because it is not as “bad” as my own.

So for those of you finishing university who do not know what to do take a breath.

Write down a ten year plan of where you went to be. Brainstorm things you like if you don’t know what industry you want to be in. Then, write down your skill set (not focusing on experience), writing down what you enjoy, and also what you want to know/ be able to do.  Set plans on how you will get there. I’ve done my fair share of unpaid voluntary work (for charity’s I have to mention I have no issue with this) and internships that yes, should have been paid. But those positions gave me experience and got me noticed. I know the struggle of trying to fit unpaid work around your paid work. No, I cannot afford to just be paid expenses and come in 5 days a week (I have bills to pay!). There are though lots of places that take submissions (this is for writers)- it sucks but write for free, and get that portfolio out there. Then, when you get to that position of power, help me tear the whole system down.

Also, just so you know tonight I’m genuinely going to sit and take my own advice, and force my significant other to as well. As yes I have a position I’m very excited about starting, but I’m not going to give them my best self unless I know what direction I want to go in. So that involves making sure I tie up my loose ends and projects I’ve been neglecting. As I’m determined to go in with the best positive mindset.

I understand wanting to wallow, and trust me my friends can tell you that I have done more than my fair share. But, I’m so happy that they actually know that for once (minus an incident in my second year of university where I sat on the floor in a teddy bear onesie eating Nutella). Wallowing though surprisingly enough has never made me feel better. Neither does pretending everything is ok. Faking it till you make it is not necessarily something I recommend either. Asking for help, and trying your best is what I do recommend.

Trust me, this is not where I thought I’d be after university but although it’s not perfect; I know I’m going to be happy. I have so many things in my life to be lucky for, and there is so much promise in my future. And I know that you have promise too. So I’m going to keep writing, and keep posting here even though I stress out over every post and think it’s imperfect, uncool and not polished because I’m boring, not attractive enough to be interesting, and just plain not interesting. I’m going to keep going because I enjoy writing for this blog. It’s the only diary I’ve ever consistently wrote in at my life. It stops me repeating myself. It gives me an outlet (I really don’t like not being busy). So to anyone who actually consistently reads my posts, thank you for reading, and if you’re a fellow creator message me and let’s create something together (especially if it’s autumn themed-I’m one of the people who is definitely autumn obsessed). On that note, my goal by the end of this year is to FINALLY start my own YouTube channel (something I’ve wanted to do for years); I just have to wait till I can afford a camera and pluck up the courage. However, it’s now on the internet so please call me out if I don’t do it. I’m also going to hopefully post a blog post with a list of all my goals for the end of this year and next year so I can kind of categorise how I do.

So this post may have got onto a bit of a tangent but what I wanted to say was life is going to feel like it sucks for a while, and I hate that but don’t give up because trust me if you can get through university you can get through this. Yes, “adulting” sucks and your life may feel like an unfunny version of Friends; but just take a step back, breathe, and keep pushing on. After all, think of the relief when you finish this part of the run (sorry a running analogy is the best I can come up with)- and hopefully the promise of the “runners high” will get you through it. I know this may seem like generic, unhelpful advice, but it’s just how I’ve been soldiering on, and I think more than anything it helps to talk about this issue and know that everyone else’s lives aren’t perfect and that they are struggling too.

I know it at least helps me!

🍂April 🍂

Facebook: @aprilisthecruellestmonthblog

Instagram: @aprilisthecruellestmonth (main account)

@aprilisthecruellestmonthblog (miscellaneous account)

Twitter: @aprilcruelmonth

Tumblr: @aprilisthecruellestmonthblog

 

 

SaveSave